Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Alexx Shorts: RoC Crimson Neo-Viper (8/13/09)

 
Well, this is it: I've finally decided to start reposting my old "Alexx Shorts" G.I. Joe reviews.  They're the reviews that lead to what eventually became this blog!  I'll be posting them in straight copy-and-paste format, separating them with bold dotted lines so you know where they begin and end, and then I'll post some final thoughts on what I think of the figure currently.

For those unfamiliar: I used to take random pictures here and there, but by the time the Rise of Cobra toys came out, I was getting annoying with how much people had been bashing the figures which were clearly better than the previous 25th Anniversary offerings.  I set out to show people how awesome they were, and things went from there, forming into "Alexx Shorts", named so because I thought I was going to keep to a short format with a few pictures.  I did not do that.


I'm a sucker for red!

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Alright, I love this guy. I know, I know. How many times have we seen the crimson thing? It's like a fad in Cobra; as if the color doesn't even matter. They just wear it because they're allowed to and it looks cool. You know what, though?  I love it.  I've always been a big fan of red, regardless of how useless it is for realistic military stuff. Yeah, you stand right out, but action figures (for me) are for lookin' cool!  And you don't get a much cooler red that this!



Shiny! 



Very shiny! I probably wouldn't have said "shiny red is a good idea!" until I saw this figure.  It helps that it's a nice dark red, though. Rarely do figures actually sport the kinda red that I like (Crimson Guards got it down great, though). I would normally have someone else in charge and leave the red guys as special forces, but this guy just looks like he should be giving orders! Not only that, but this guy is armed to the TEETH!


Look at that! A blade, some hatchets, cool looking rifle, standard pistol.....and some snake catching gear. I gotta say, as much as I do love the stuff, I'm a bit confused...






Well okay, so it doesn't have to play out that way, but that's what popped into my head when I saw the gear. I mean, I'm sure they are catching the snake for the venom; to use for nefarious purposes and all that. Regardless, my mind jumps to whatever would be funniest. The snake stick is still bladed and great for a weapon, and the little snake case can be carried and filled with any little Cobra-like device you want, so it is certainly welcome gear!

How about the stuff we know how to use, though?



I love this rifle! I just wish he could hold it a bit better (but it's good enough for me!).  I like having just one of these guys, so I might get another one just to pass around the gear and this rifle! Otherwise, he's one of the few who comes with some great stuff to fend off those pesky ninjas:




I guess these guys are useless, unless you already like the Neo-Viper look. So, if you're a fan and turned off by the color: just try one out! If you don't like it, it's got great gear! Seriously though, in terms of the crimson onslaught, this guy is at least right under the standard Crimson Guard (in looks, though, not in rank).

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I don't...fully understand all of Past Alexx's sentiments at the end there, but I think I was speaking as though people wouldn't like this one. Not sure why I thought that.  Did ya'll not like this one?  'Cause it's AWESOME.  Still is.  I do love that Neo-Viper mold, though.  I can't deny that.  Putting it in a nice, deep, shiny red only made my heart grow fonder. 

I still don't understand what the snake gear was for - though I think they were harvesting snake venom in some plot point of the movie?  Maybe?  I can't remember.  It's a cool batch of gear, though, surprisingly, I haven't found any use for it since.  (I oughta dig it out and have it on-hand!  Might have been a tiny I needed a tiny clear box and totally forgot that existed). 

I've always been a fan of the red-guy-is-the-special kinda deal, so this guy fits the bill perfectly.  I would hunt 'em down, if you're still into Neo-Vipers.  Definitely one of the stand-outs from Rise of Cobra.

12 comments:

  1. Love the shiny red on this guy, even if he looks like a lobster! I gave mine the pike and used him as a fancy guard, basically ripping off Star Wars crimson imperial guards!

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  2. Aaaaaah, now THIS is more like it. I love these guys soooooooooooooooooo much.

    And I think Hasbro intended them to be the CGs of the movie line, because that gun is the same one that eventually got included with the awesome Retaliation Crimson Guard (and the shadow guard from last year).

    I bought a few of these. I now have a bag of snakes that serve no purpose other than to potentially throw up a flag with children's services if they ever find my kid playing with it.

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    1. Ah, never thought of them as Crimson Guards! Good point, I hadn't even thought that was what they were going for.

      I only got the one, though it sure as heck stands out among the crowd, with that shiny red.

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    2. I think the deal with the movie guys was that they were supposed to be all the old Cobra specialties, just with a more unified look.

      Which is messed up, of course. But at least they had the budget for a bunch of troop designs, when poor Retaliation clearly had just barely enough money left over after they paid Rock and Tatum for the 24 Cobra Troopers / Ninjas we saw recycled at the end of the film.

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  3. CODE RED VIPER! I eagerly await the return of the Nana-Viper review.

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    1. HA! I forgot about that joke! Yeah, the Nano-Viper is pretty far ahead, but we'll get there. I'm actually kinda disappointed that I've only had time to post more filler, but it's better than nothing I guess.

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  4. I also figured this dude as some sort of elite guard.

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  5. His noodle friend is pretty clearly a king snake, which isn't venomous, so I guess they're just collecting them for funsies. Maybe these guys are in charge of maintaining Cobra's snake pit. I mean surely they have such a thing. And whoever takes care of it obviously needs shiny red body armor.

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    1. Sounds legit. I wouldn't be surprised if the snake pit was the name of an on-site bar for the troops, but when the Techno Vipers built it, they just built a real pit full of snakes and Cobra Commander just kinda...rolled with it.

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