Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Alexx Shorts: RoC Arctic Assault Storm Shadow (8/23/09)

Well, this is it: I've finally decided to start reposting my old "Alexx Shorts" G.I. Joe reviews.  They're the reviews that lead to what eventually became this blog!  I'll be posting them in straight copy-and-paste format, separating them with bold dotted lines so you know where they begin and end, and then I'll post some final thoughts on what I think of the figure currently.

For those unfamiliar: I used to take random pictures here and there, but by the time the Rise of Cobra toys came out, I was getting annoying with how much people had been bashing the figures which were clearly better than the previous 25th Anniversary offerings.  I set out to show people how awesome they were, and things went from there, forming into "Alexx Shorts", named so because I thought I was going to keep to a short format with a few pictures.  I did not do that.

Only Storm Shadow can assault the arctic without a shirt.


Wow, there has not been a more random figure than Arctic Assault Storm Shadow! I mean, you don't really ask questions when toys come with a bunch of accessories, but when it's supposed to be based off of something, it just gets hilarious! Don't get me wrong; all these accessories rock, but they are so specific! It's as if they are based on an alternate ending to the movie, or something. When I get his random junk together, I can't help but assume that this guy is going on an ARCTIC ASSAULT!

There is nothing more manly than an arctic assault with no shirt and open wounds! YEAH! 

Lets start with a few little things, first. For starters, in General Hawk's review of this figure, you can see the clan symbol on his right shoulder. Mine doesn't have that!

Next, though the sword is shown sheathed in his left gauntlet (on the package), it's obvious that the little knife is supposed to be in there like this:

Even then, the knife barely makes it out enough to be of any use! On top of that, the whole feature makes that GIGANTIC chunk stick out of the side of the left gauntlet. Sheesh!

Lets get away from those things and get to the man, however.

Storm Shadow is molded the way he appears at the end of the movie....sort of. I won't spoil anything, but he's basically like that, minus everything this figure comes with, especially the funky gauntlets (and he's maskless). So it goes without saying that giving him stuff is important, since he'd be kinda boring with just his swords. Nonetheless, I'd imagine he'd get some other ninja gear, and not things that really seem like you'd see in the movie, but weren't actually there! This look makes it seem like he shows up this way, and I was looking forward to seeing just where the heck those gauntlets come in. No dice!

Those aren't complaints, however! No, all this junk is really cool actually; or hilarious.

Take that backpack thing, for instance. Here's what the filecard says about it:  "a backpack with concealed spring-activated blades."  I automatically assumed that this one was a jetpack or a glider...but it doesn't really say anything about that! I know that's probably what it is, but I just thought it was hilarious that the only description is just that it's a big 'ol backpack with blades that pop uselessly out of the sides! Look how scary that is!

Now, of course I'm gona use that thing as a jetpack/glider/thing, but the fact that they only call it a pack with concealed blades was too good to not mention. Beyond that, you also get those swords that you can hand to someone else, and a stick:

Plain stick, but a good stick! Nice handy staff that we don't get very often, actually. As for the gauntlets, well, they are cool on their own, but like I pointed out in The Doctor's review, you can add those claws of his for some extra magic:

If you have watched any anime with random ninjas, you may have seen the clawed gauntlets before. Now you've got some, if you get The Doctor. Speaking of getting other figures, if you've got Paris Pursuit Storm Shadow, then you can make a movie accurate one from the end:

Now, finally, you gotta disregard all my jokes and count them only as jokes. This is a great figure! He looks cool, has some great gear, and can be used for many things (he's also just an awesome battle damaged SS, obviously)!  There's nothing tying him right to RoC, so you can use him anywhere! I wouldn't normally suggest such a random version of someone we've gotten a ton of before, but this is unique. We've never had a battle damaged Storm Shadow, the staff is cool, he's got some regular swords with black hilts so they don't scream "Storm Shadow", the gauntlets are new and unique, and the backpack is cool when you use your imagination! I can understand this being a skip for most, but if you're a ninja fan, then you get a good deal here!


First, to begin with my opening statement at the start, I want to point out this sentence by Past Alexx:

"Lets start with a few little things, first. For starters, in General Hawk's review of this figure..."
I apparently wanted to start with a few little things.  But start with them first.  For starters.  Redundancy points to you, Past Alexx! 

I make fun of him, but I'll bet I've done the same thing somewhere in all these blog posts.

Alright, with the hazing out of the way: I don't even know what happened to this guy!  He's such a mass of parts and accessories that he's been spread to the four winds and I don't think he'll ever be back together again.  I couldn't even dig out the custom that used the main body!

I guess that says it all, doesn't it?  He's parts!  I'm sure he's been parts to everyone else, too.  Great parts, but parts all the same.  Did anyone use the crazy backpack thing?  I didn't even end up using it as a jetpack, like I thought I would.  Don't know where that went either.  Man, is this a positive review or a bad one? 

I think I'll end on positive: Everything Past Alexx said is correct.  It's a great figure for parts! It's like a build-your-own ninja, but one that a kid already put together on the side and you're just buying it to use all the parts elsewhere.  I can't really say anything bad about this figure beyond the fact that it's a terrible representation of the end of the movie.  Gimmie the truth, though: Do any of you care about the movie anymore?  I gotta watch it again and see how I feel about it, years later.  The point is this: Fodder Ninja Storm Shadow is pretty cool.  Chances are, you've already got some of his parts in an Ebay lot, if you didn't buy him originally.  Keep your eyes peeled for the body, especially!  It's a good for standard ninja battle damage (if you aren't a hardcore customizer who paints all fancy). 


  1. "Storm Shadow! What happened to you?"

    "Cut myself shaving."


    "I WAS SHAVING A POLAR BEEEAAAAARR" *blades spring out of backpack*

    1. Only when you have shaved a polar bear in the arctic, can you truly understand the way of the ninja. *blades spring out of backpack*

  2. Was Assassin's Creed a thing when the movie came out? Because those are obviously the hidden blade gauntlets.

    God's AC2 was just the best. Stabby Renaissance batman: the game.

    1. Yeah, I looked it up, and the first game came out 2007. Probably what they were going for! Never thought of that.