Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Alexx Shorts: RoC Cobra Commander (7/11/09)

Well, this is it: I've finally decided to start reposting my old "Alexx Shorts" G.I. Joe reviews.  They're the reviews that lead to what eventually became this blog!  I'll be posting them in straight copy-and-paste format, separating them with bold dotted lines so you know where they begin and end, and then I'll post some final thoughts on what I think of the figure currently. 

For those unfamiliar: I used to take random pictures here and there, but by the time the Rise of Cobra toys came out, I was getting annoying with how much people had been bashing the figures which were clearly better than the previous 25th Anniversary offerings.  I set out to show people how awesome they were, and things went from there, forming into "Alexx Shorts", named so because I thought I was going to keep to a short format with a few pictures.  I did not do that.

It may have not been your kind of Cobra Commander, but ya gotta admit that this figure was cool!


I was totally gona use this guy as someone else, but he's just the right kinda crazy that gets my story-making blood going! My kinda Commander is a born leader, however, I LOVE the psycho-mojo that emanates from this guy! Like he just stabs anyone who doesn't listen and fires up the mind control! On top of that, he's all robotic looking in the torso, so it's like he's scary to tangle with as well! Every pic I take shows off the whites of his eyes, and I think "Man! You don't wana mess with this sucka! He's CRAZY!"

Next, of course, my comedic side loves the needles! He's got his normal little stabby, but you can tell that the missile launcher is supposed to be a giant version of the little needle (like the Viper's launcher is a big version of his rifle). So, although there is a Doctor figure, I can't help but see this needle freak as the worst doctor ever!

Above all that, though, I can't help but look at how slick he is. Yeah, most CCs sport the military jackets 'n such, but this guy has EVIL WINGTIPS!

Most of the time I have CC shaking his fit or pointing an order, but this guy looks so slimy with just his hands behind his back.

By the way, considering the needles, those Venom Drones from VvV look awesome with him! Anyway, take a look at him and tell me you won't at least be buying him for something!


Inception of the movie Trouble Bubble:

If nothing else, a PP SE trenchcoat and some other CC parts can always get you something cool! This setup is thanks to a friend of mine:

So give him a shot! He's way out of the usual norm for CC, but he ain't coming up short on the CRAZY!

I love this guy!  Nothin' I can disagree with, Past Alexx.  You're on point.  Still, this figure might have been pushed aside for the red version with the shiny mask....it's hard to say.  Both have merits!  This one, in particular, has that awesome meaty face under the mask (which I managed to pry off, later).  As I stated in the old review: He looks crazy, but also sinister and creepy.  I love that!  In the end, I used him as a sort of impersonator of the Commander (which will be gone over in the eventual review of the red version) but I can't help getting a million ideas for other stories by just looking at this figure - and I'm not talkin' just G.I. Joe stories.  This figure oozes ideas! 
It may have been a drastic redesign for the Commander, but MAN is it a good design outside that fact!  It's the kind of thing that saddens me, sometimes, because movie redesigners never understand their medium.  You've got to have a nice balance between the classic design and something all your own, because if you don't, you sometimes end up with something AWESOME like this....that is forever left in limbo as just an oddball Cobra Commander.  This coulda been a design for some other villain in something unique!  Now it's stuck here.  They use all their creativity to completely redesign something iconic - and, granted - come up with something amazing!  Then, however, the creativity is lost to the fact that you're just covering up an iconic design and people ignore it later on, in favor of the iconic one.
On the other hand, the good part is when toys get made!  Now this guy can live on as a toy, which can be any kid's little personal actor, and play any villainous (or heroic, I ain't gona judge) part they want!  So while this awesome design is sadly never gona be used anywhere else, at the very least, it's been realized in plastic.  Maybe some kid will run across it bagged and cheap in a comic shop, and it'll spark all sorts of stories.  I can only hope!


  1. He'll never be my commander, but could be the krang, if he gave up his regular mech and lived in some robots head!

    Or custom fodder, slap that cape on anybody and they'll look 25% cooler!

    1. Yeah, I think he ended up custom fodder for most folks. I had to get two, at least. I knew one was going to be parts, but then I ended up just prying the mask off one and just having one maskless and one mask...full. Maskfull.

      Anyway, I still love this figure, as is. Just not so much as Cobra Commander.

  2. I retconned this guy as a modern Dr. Venom from the old Marvel comics and called it good. Great figure, just not a great Commander. The POC crimson version is also swanky. I swapped the head for a Retaliation Cobra Commander on the crimson one for My version of the Commander.

    1. I ended up using this one in my own version of the Fred VII story I had heard of, from the comics. I guess a Crimson Guard called Fred VII took over as Cobra Commander, donning the battle armor version (which I guess was never actually the Commander, in the comics?).

      I never used the story, but I took the idea of a fake Commander and shoved in Overkill, from the end of Valor Vs Venom. There was supposed to be this Robot Rebellion line after that (never happened, sadly) so I had Overkill survive and step in as Cobra Commander with this figure, having the real Commander go missing in a huge base explosion. Overkill explained away the mechanical chest gear, mask, and messed up face to the explosion, and nobody questioned it. Meanwhile, the Commander survived and was in a coma or some such thing, kept away somewhere in some random hospital until he woke up and returned later.

    2. The Fred VII story was pretty awesome. Larry Hama's Marvel Joe comics were really sublime, completely different than anything else then or today.

  3. Perfectly good figure, yet another example of the terrible design aesthetic of the first movie. He works fine as a more serious Mind bender with a headswap, as well.

    I still reallyoung like that they made the jacket lining blue. Actually quite inspired.

  4. Yup I felt similarly inspired when I got the red version in PoC. I don't know if I ever came up with a name for him, but I had an idea that he was a mad scientist type in charge of some sort of fear-manipulating chemical weapon Cobra was working on.