Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Alexx Shorts: PoC Snake Eyes - TORNADO KICK!! (9/22/10)


Well, this is it: I've finally decided to start reposting my old "Alexx Shorts" G.I. Joe reviews.  They're the reviews that lead to what eventually became this blog!  I'll be posting them in straight copy-and-paste format, separating them with bold dotted lines so you know where they begin and end, and then I'll post some final thoughts on what I think of the figure currently.

For those unfamiliar: I used to take random pictures here and there, but by the time the Rise of Cobra toys came out, I was getting annoying with how much people had been bashing the figures which were clearly better than the previous 25th Anniversary offerings.  I set out to show people how awesome they were, and things went from there, forming into "Alexx Shorts", named so because I thought I was going to keep to a short format with a few pictures.  I did not do that.


BUCKLE UP YOUR BIG BOY PANTS

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OMG did you see the new Snake Eyes? It's AWESOME, 'cause I was just thinking the other day: "Man I am tired of moving my toys! I wish they would move for me!" Well not only does he have a TORNADO KICK, but he freakin' talks! YEAH. I know! Seriously

Before I go into that, though: you probably want to know how the TORNADO KICK works.


Don't forget to check the freshness, 'cause if he goes off while he's not fresh...OH MAN...it's gona be a blood tsunami. 

Seriously though, you GOTTA SEE THIS.



So he's all armored and stuff, and he's totally ready to BRING IT. 



That's only the beginning of the TORNADO KICK, which is only a last resort, 'cause there's a ton of ninja weapons he's gotta use first for...you know.  Bloody fights 'n stuff.


The filecard says he expertly "swings" these things, but you know he goes crazy and guts Cobras like fish.










AW NO Snake Eyes, don't do it!!

 He's gona do it man, he's gona do the TORNADO KICK!!










Serious Section: For Serious Reals

Okay, so the figure isn't actually that bad. Do you need him? No. Is he good for parts?  Perfect. His action attack is the least intrusive on his articulation in G.I. Joe history. In fact, he's basically a normal Joe toys save for the head exploding kick of death. The armor is kinda cool, and the legs and arms could easily be swapped to another body. Plus: extra Reso SE head.

The weapons are...interesting. It's strange, coming from me, 'cause I am normally a big fan of melee weapons.  It's a random assortment, making this even more of a joke. They may as well have called this "NINJASAREAWESOME" Snake Eyes. More so than most of the Ninja Force figures, amazingly enough. That's saying something.

I threw the review together like this 'cause I know you guys don't need that much info on this one. The pics'll let you know if you like it, and I can tell you that he'll be great for parts if you like the look of the figure. And heck, if you DO like it as Snake Eyes, it's not a bad figure! Take this as you will. I was just having some fun!

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HAHAHAAAA oooh....no.  No, you don't need this.  Neat for parts, though!  I would count him as a good bonus if he's in some lot of random figures you buy off ebay.  Otherwise, he's not really worth anything.  His accessories are kind of neat, but nothing that hasn't been done better before.  I never even used this guy for parts, like I had planned.  Can't even remember who I wanted to build.  Might have been a Kamakura, but then they ended up using some of these parts for a Retaliation Kamakura, so I was already set. 

Hmmm....bah bah bah....what else....

Eh, that's it.  Hope you enjoyed the old review!

10 comments:

  1. That vest is basically the old Activator thing that was pushed on us in the 90s, isn't it?

    So this is Eternal Champions Snake Eyes.

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    1. I had to look that up! I mean, not Eternal Champions - played a lot of that - but I had no idea what the Activator was. Looks hilarious, though I only see a ring. Was there a vest that went with it too?

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    2. Yeah. It was sold that it would "shock" you upon a hit. I'm sure really it was just a strong vibration. I wanted it real bad as a kid. Glad I never got one.

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    3. I think "glad I never got one" stands for a lot of random video game peripherals, back then. Except the Power Glove. It's SO BAD.

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  2. "Mystic Spine Technique" It makes me laugh so.

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    1. The Mystic Spine Technique has many uses, and 99% of those uses are deadly. The other 1% is for interior decorating.

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  3. What! And action figure with and action feature in the 2010s! Inconceivable!

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    1. Yeah I remember that one took everyone by surprise! At least by the Joe standards of the time. Plenty of other figures like that, but then the semi-realistic Pursuit of Cobra randomly jumped into 90's action attack land, for a short moment. At least they were funny!

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  4. I WARNED YOU ABOUT NINJAS.

    (I saw this review back on JBL and I still chuckle to myself about it from time to time.)

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    1. Thanks man, Douchebag Snake Eyes always has a special place in my heart.

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