Well, this is it: I've finally decided to start reposting my old "Alexx Shorts" G.I. Joe reviews. They're the reviews that lead to what eventually became this blog! I'll be posting them in straight copy-and-paste format, separating them with bold dotted lines so you know where they begin and end, and then I'll post some final thoughts on what I think of the figure currently.
For those unfamiliar: I used to take random pictures here and there, but by the time the Rise of Cobra toys came out, I was getting annoying with how much people had been bashing the figures which were clearly better than the previous 25th Anniversary offerings. I set out to show people how awesome they were, and things went from there, forming into "Alexx Shorts", named so because I thought I was going to keep to a short format with a few pictures. I did not do that.
Destro struck the city, and the city just stood there and took it. Your move, Destro.
What the heck is up with Destro these days? It's like the guy doesn't trust people anymore! One day it's just a simple leather affair that shows off the chest and his love of pimpin', then it's more leather, a half cape and some gold, and now it's ARMOR AND A MINIGUN. Either Destro is paranoid, or he botched some shady deals and has to protect himself.
Okay, after that totally unprofessional opening ('cause I'm known for being professional) I bring you City Strike Destro! I suppose it's only fitting that he dresses up in armor to go downtown, since he's usually dressed up as it is.
Since this is Destro, they didn't feel obligated to tell you too much on the card. He makes and sells weapons, and he's sporting some new ones - one of which won't be seen until we get that new Iron Grenadier! In earlier pics of this Destro, he came with what I assume is the plasma rifle that is mentioned on the card, but it's been pushed forward to the IG; perhaps to make him different (hey, I'm not complaining!) So, I guess we can assume Destro is armed to the teeth because: Everyone else is doing it! I mean, look at City Strike Firefly. He's armed way more than usual, and Beachhead is ready to crack some skulls even more than he usually is. Whatever is going down in the city is freakin' HEAVY. Like, Marty McFly heavy.
Destro is using what seems to be his new standard under-armor. This is the same figure as the arctic one save for the head and the forearms. And MAN, I'm glad we have a new head! I don't hate the movie one, but it sure looks sad. He's just forever stuck at the end of the movie: "Oh, what have ye done to me?!" This new head is hardcore! He's all angry and (though it's hard to tell from the pics) he's got these little green dots for eyes, burning in his sockets.
With an angry face, though, you're gona need the over-armor!
A lot of it...
This is why I've seen him called Warhammer Destro. The big 'ol shoulder armor looks like the Warhammer/Starcraft marine kinda stuff. He's completely beefed up, and somehow he's still able to move (even with being armored under as well as over!). I imagine he'll probably just be hobbling around, but it's still an impressive sight. This is the kinda look I thought I'd never see on a mass-market toy like G.I. Joe, so I'm excited about it regardless of it being Destro again (especially since you can just swap the head out with amazing results, but I'll get to that).
Anyway, such heavy armor is in need of a heavy (impossible to use) weapon:
Destro comes with a minigun, a tiny pistol, and a big 'ol case of money. The minigun actually fits well, though he can't hold it with two hands:
And, ah...*ahem* there's no place for the ammo belt to go. I shoved it under the armor handle on the back just to have someplace for it to go. So, if you're going for realistic, then you'll have to make a backpack for him.
WHY go for realistic? He's using a freakin' minigun! Miniguns in fiction are not used for realism; they're used 'cause they shoot a lot! Nevermind the weight and the kick or whatever. Personally, I'm using it as some sorta energy or plasma minigun, and the belt is a power cord. And as for only being able to hold it with one hand, well, it's attached to the front of his armor, so I'm assuming there's some sorta load-bearing power armor skeleton under all that gear (or perhaps that's what the under-armor is). The "arm" holding the gun to the armor seems to be something that would take most of the weight and distribute it over the armor he's wearing, so we'll just say it's far enough into the future to house some sorta small power cell rather than giving him a huge backpack.
Anyway, he's gona need some sorta exoskeleton just for the gear alone, and the fact that they made a long peg on the side of the gun so he can carry it on his back:
Oh yes, and you've probably heard about that suitcase full of money:
It's AWESOME! There's a little pile of dollars and euros all wrapped up for back-alley deals and office building "contract signings." I love it! If you can somehow resist how awesome this figure is, then surely you can't pass up a suitcase full of tiny money. As you can see from the pic, though, only one section of it is separate pieces. The top part is for show, but it can be removed so you've got an empty case (with two pegs on the top portion). It's a good way to fool folks, though!
There's lots to love about City Strike Destro! However...just in case you're one of those hard-to-persuade characters, here's some extra incentive. You know that awesome new Destro head you get here? Well, it fits perfectly on the RoC suited Destro. Once the Destro head has a home...OH MY...what to do with the rest of that awesome?
A helmet and a head later and you've got a pretty awesome SAW viper! You could even use the armor if you like the super look:
Though, no Joe-sized toy on earth could possible use that gun...but anyway, I think he looks perfect without the bulky armor, and honestly, that armor could go anywhere! However, if you just want to swap out a head and call it a day, may I suggest:
Instant updated Scrap-Iron! It's so good that I'm torn on which one I want to turn this into: Scrap or a SAW Viper. The armored look just matches Scrap-Iron perfectly! That, and he'll match those new Iron Grenadiers when they come out.
So you see, this is good for many things:
- It's an awesome toy
- It has a suitcase full of tiny money
- All of the parts are absolutely perfect for simple custom jobs
- ...and I do mean simple; a headswap makes this a totally new figure!
I don't see any reason to skip this, unless you're just burnt out on G.I. Joe. Too much fun packed into this one package. And I mean...come on: MONEY!
Oh, and I think some folks were asking for Techno-Vipers.
Oh, what will they get into next?
GRIMDARK DESTRO GONA MESS UP YOUR TOWN.
Seriously, this is another one Past Alexx had pretty spot on. Great figure, great for parts, and just all around a great design that you didn't see very often in G.I. Joe. This series brought me a lot of favorite things, and this armor is one of the big ones! I eventually built a cool Scrap Iron out of these parts, and I feel like Hasbro should have done that themselves!
I'd still get him, if you get the chance. If for nothing else than for....hell, the whole thing. Good stuff!