Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Alexx Shorts: PoC Doom Cycle with Storm Rider (7/21/10)

Well, this is it: I've finally decided to start reposting my old "Alexx Shorts" G.I. Joe reviews.  They're the reviews that lead to what eventually became this blog!  I'll be posting them in straight copy-and-paste format, separating them with bold dotted lines so you know where they begin and end, and then I'll post some final thoughts on what I think of the figure currently.

For those unfamiliar: I used to take random pictures here and there, but by the time the Rise of Cobra toys came out, I was getting annoying with how much people had been bashing the figures which were clearly better than the previous 25th Anniversary offerings.  I set out to show people how awesome they were, and things went from there, forming into "Alexx Shorts", named so because I thought I was going to keep to a short format with a few pictures.  I did not do that.

Who's the punk that stole Doom's cycle?


Behold, the DOOM CYCLE! It brings doom with spring-action blades and shotties! And nails! And...and...one heck of a wicked haircut.

Alright, so this one somehow didn't bring out the comedic gold in me, but that doesn't mean that this isn't a fine toy. In fact, I was quite impressed by it! I bought it mostly for the figure, but the cycle really is a lot of fun. The thing works, the spring action stuff is pretty cool, and it's got quite a character to go with it! Also, an extra treat from the package:

Yay! More backgrounds! I mean seriously; this is cool! I still have all the ones from the Wal-Mart packs, and this one is gona stay as well. Very cool of them to do this!

Anyway, lets get to it and take a look at our new Dreadnok:

Yeah, that's rockin'! Reminds me of Billy Idol for some reason.

There we go! Alright, so Idol's hair never looked like that, but I still think the look is close. Regardless: it's distinct and very interesting! I mean, when you're looking for real character in a figure, this is the kinda stuff you want.  Thankfully the filecard does more than say "This guy is involved in the plot and likes motorcycles." The bio says he's good with classic fist-fights as well as martial arts! On top of that, he's the one that modifies the bikes with all the crazy crap, so this is also a new Dreadnok that fills the role of a mechanic.  A little information goes a long way to really fleshing this guy out! As it should be. Give a little taste and the imagination can do the rest.

Anyway, this guy doesn't just have an interesting new head.  Ah...well, okay, he does pretty much have just a new head. The rest is Shipwreck, but Shipwreck's ugly second version with the pot belly (though, as you can see, black is very slimming for this guy). I'd show you a comparison, but I sorta tore Shipwreck apart 'cause he was ugly and dumb.

 Oh fine, here you go:

You get the idea. It's all Shipwreck save for the head and the scarf. But hey, there's lots more that makes him different! I mean, check out the tats!

You don't see the whole Cobra tat there thanks to the sleeves, but I almost think that's cooler, 'cause it implies that he's got way more. The arms, though, are way detailed:

I had to put a magnifying glass in front of the camera to really get the detail in there. You can see at the bottom of both arms that the right arm says "DREAD" and the left arm says "NOKS." Now that's detail! Detail that's gona rub off over the years, but it's still appreciated!

And it doesn't stop with the tats:

A little pocket symbol there, and the back:

It's like a Dreadnok business shirt! They must hand them out to the new recruits.

So now that you know this guy likes the fights and is a mechanic: you gotta wonder what weapons this guy is packing?

Naturally, he's got Shipwreck's gun. Nothing special there, and it fits in the holster on his leg and matches the style of the character perfectly. Dreadnoks aren't Dreadnoks without KA-RAZY weapons though, right? They got chainsaws, guns with blades on 'em (that can cut apart a tank, according to the cartoon), jaws of life, etc. What's this guy got that makes him really part of the team?

That's right: it's a friggin' nail gun! Awesome! Not only is it a nail gun, but it's a modified nutty S.O.B. that attaches to an air tank on the bike.

So he's not gona be carrying it around, since it's attached to the bike, but I still consider it his standard Dreadnok "destruction weapon." Though, according to the package...it's a "spike blaster." Makes sense, since I guess you don't want kids knowing that nail guns are fun to play with.

 And they are!

Really though, his whole bike is the "destruction weapon." If it was just a bike, that would be it, but in true Dreadnok fashion, this sucker is weighed down with some jagged metal.

There's your basic DOOM CYCLE, with the spring-action stuff folded in. From close up you can tell it's got stuff on there, but I can imagine that it's not gona be obvious from far away. I like it! You'll also notice the detail with the name and the badass skull:

That's awesome. Makes you scream "SLAYER" and shoot up the devil horns. But naw, you're screamin' DOOM CYCLE! You know why? 'Cause it's got SPRING-ACTION BLADES! The buttons are mildly hidden, with one on the back hidden in the tank, and a normal black tab on the front:

You push those buttons and IT'S ON.


KA-CHIK-CHIK! Two more blades in the front and double - what I can only assume are - shotguns! Giant shotguns! I have to assume they are, since they have triggers 'n such. Hey, though, this guy modifies weapons, so they can be whatever you want! The important fact is that they look cool. Usefulness of the weapons, of course, may vary with play styles.

Trust me, when you're rolling it on the floor and sideswiping suckas, it's a lot more fun. I just can't get that across in a picture. Part of what makes it fun is the rubber wheels! That's right; they're rubber! They grip the linoleum like nobody's business and tear through the kitchen!

So like I said, I was all set to either skip this or at least get it 'cause the figure was really cool. I ended up loving the whole set! It's fun, functional, and makes a complete package. And heck, the Dreadnoks need some new people!

So the verdict is this: I love it! Go get one! With so much character and resemblance to, basically, a giant badss big-wheel, you can't go wrong. If I absolutely had to nitpick, I'd say that those pipes they've been using for Joes since the beginning never stay on well (as with the nail gun pipe) but I'm so used to it over the years that I don't care. This is too much cheesy METAL to ignore.

So with that, I leave you yet again with the Techno-Vipers. I'm not trying to fit them into every review, I swear.


The Doom Cycle: Carry over from the old Robot Rebellion line? Take a look!

So I was looking at SDCC pics and saw a pic of the Doom Cycle with the back part off. I thought: "Boy, is that removable, or was it just a prototype thing?" So I risked breaking it and pulled, but it popped right off! And low and behold, as you can see in the pic, the old hexagon peg system is there! As I've stated in the HISS review: it's the old system that the HISS does not have. This is the same system that was going to be used with the Robot Rebellion (that would have been after Valor VS Venom). So it works with all the stuff you'd think it would, including:

And the front of the Rhino's copter fits:

And even Sigma 6 stuff:

Anything with the same system! It's funny, 'cause I thought the cycle handles were a little big for this line, so it's more fuel for this thought: is this carried over from the Robot Rebellion line?


This one is still pretty solid, and if it is indeed a carry-over from the canceled Robot Rebellion: It shows.  The stuff before the 25th were much more action-feature heavy, and this one has it in spades.  Well, okay, so there's two buttons that make things pop out - but that was pretty common, back then!  It was less a collector line and more of a kid's line, and I kinda miss that.

The figure is spectacular!  Still a favorite.  There's a lot of personality in those little details, like the hair and the tattoos. The kinda stuff you wish you had seem more often.  Granted, they've made a few here and there, but it's hard to continue the trend when the next five figures are all characters you're familiar with that Hasbro refuses to redesign.  If you're longing for the old unique designs, then this is a good one to pick up on the after market.


  1. Still my favorite Dreadnok figure actually.

    1. Yeah, he's a good match for the rest of them, since they're all 80's punks in one way or another. This guy is more of an 80's greaser, if that could be a thing.

  2. The closest to a Mad Max toy we ever got.

    1. Yeah I'm kinda surprised they never did a toy line off of that stuff. I mean Aliens and Predator and Terminator got toys, so it's not like they had to stick to kid's movies! Mad Max could have been a crazy vehicle-based toyline!

  3. You didn't like the second Shipwreck figure? I thought he was great. Better accessories, detail popped more, and I think his arms were better.

    It's funny when you realize that Storm Rider's details on his back are supposed to evoke a leather/motorcycle jacket but it's really just printed on a button-up shirt.

    Anyway I had this set and loved it. The flip-out blades were a bit lame IMO, but the rest of the bike is probably the best Dreadnok accessory ever. I always kinda wanted to get three or four bikes so all the 'noks could ride, but that never happened. I did end up selling it off along with most of the PoC stuff.

    1. Yeah, I dunno. Something about the sculpt. I "reviewed" him, sorta, a few months before I had started Alexx Shorts, so I never posted those pics anywhere but on the forum. I thought the body was lumpy and weird (it looks like he has a pot belly, which is nixed here because it's in black) and his face is just this weird expression I can't place. Like...drunkenly complacent. The first one was like "YEEAARG MATEY" with a punch to the gut. Here, I dug out my old pics that I think got my point across:


      Also WOW is there a difference in head size between those two!

      Anyway: I thought Storm Rider was wearing like a....Dreadnoks work shirt, kinda thing. Like if he was workin' at the office and he got that at the last office picnic where you have to play "games" suspiciously labeled as "team building exercises."

      I still love it too, but like you, there's a good chance it might make the jump to the sell pile, when I finally go through my vehicles.

    2. Ahahaha. That second picture. I see what you're saying. I think I didn't like earlier Shipguy's pinhead, and fists are always cool but it does limit his accessory potential. I guess I just didn't mind second Shipdude's complacent expression! (But they both got sold in the end, along with sweater-and-diving-gear Dollar General Shipman)

    3. Yeah, to be honest, I was never much of a Shipwreck fan anyway. I felt like he was a staple, though, so if I was gona have one, I didn't mind one with popeye arms and a tightly clenched fist (whereas I'm normally not happy with closed hands). If I keep any of them, I'll probably keep the Dollar General one you mentioned, because the diving sweater always makes me laugh. He was actually one of the last figures I reviewed.

  4. This guy was one of my misses during this era, and I'm still kicking myself.

    Kinda hilarious that you were all "the Dreadnoks need more guys" and Hasbro was all "I feel you, bro, have SEVEN OF THEM IN ONE PACK."

    1. Ah, I forgot about that pack! I did review it, now that I look through the list. Good thing was that it covered some guys I never got, back in the day.

    2. I figured you must've, because I borrowed some of your ideas for frankensteining the spare Marauders and I assumed you must have done them both around the same time.