My plan had been to make a bunch of these posts and put 'em up throughout the day, but THAT didn't happen. So here: I'll try to poop these out at the end of the day before the Fools end.
Power Ranger Pogs! Ain't they pretty? You best know that Power Ranger Pogs were probably The King of the Poggin' Pool that the gamblin' kids had running. I'd imagine, anyway, 'cause they were some of my PRIZE Pogs, I tell ya. And look at dat Goldar!
What a happy son of a bitch! Looks like an elementary school yearbook photo. Needs some lasers in the background.
YEAH, there we go! Muthafuggin' yearbook lasers!
Anyway, off to the side: I guess VR Trooper Pogs could be a runner up for coolness, at least until the few weeks it took for VR Troopers to get canceled from lack of Japanese footage.
LET'S LOOK AT JEB AGAIN OKAY.
You better believe there were X-Men Pogs! Would have been better if they were based on the old cartoon, but EH. Good enough.
Wait, Beast, what are you riding? What is that? What even is that? Get off of that this instant! You don't know what that is! I can see it in your face! That is the angry look of a man desperately trying to control a vehicle of which he has no knowledge. He looks trapped in it, honestly.
AWWWW GOOSEBUMPS, BRAH! Just like all my Pogs: I dunno where these came from (because I have no recollection of buying any of these) but I imagine they just shat directly out from between the pages of Goosebump books. Somehow.
SANIC! Sort of. I mean, there's no Sonic here, but we've got two Knuckles and the ever famous and universally loved Nack the Weasel! Everyone remembers Nack the Weasel! He was the one that caught Sonic and brought him in to Robotnik so he could be roboticized, starting the Mecha Madness Special in the comics WHY DO I REMEMBER THIS IN DETAIL AAAAAHHHHHH-----
------wait, what's with Robotnik?
Oh right, he's just farting triumphantly into the sky, duh. What else could that buck-toothed lard monster possibly be doing?
Nothin' funny here. Just badass Mega Man X Pogs. These aren't even mine, but I'm totally gona steal them and rub them on my naked body.
More video games! Why, it's your friendly neighborhood Danky Kang! Straight off the first Danky Kang Kantry verder geeeerrrrmmm...*COUGHHACK* sorry, you know what I mean.
Hey, you remember Candy Kong?
If you ever wonder why Candy Kong never came back after the first game, just give 'ol Uncanny Valley Girl here a nice long look and answer that question while you try to sleep tonight.
Oh, and here's some Kremlings. Notice anything here? One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just isn't the same!
It's nipples! Klump has nipples!
SEE?! Klump nups! You're not looking. LOOK AT THEM.
I don't know why you people come here.
Alright, this parade of Pogs is silly as shit, so lets end on a note that I keep forgetting: Toy Story is from the 90's! Can you believe it? It's such a staple for kids today that I keep forgetting that it was totally a staple of MY childhood as well!
OH GOD WOODY WHAT'S WRONG?! ARE YOU MESMERIZED BY THE KLUMP NIPPLES TOO?!?!
Who could possible forget Knack the Weasel? I mean, come on.
ReplyDeleteI mean Sonic Triple Trouble was the BEST game in the series, AMIRITE?!
DeleteKuwanger is penis!
ReplyDeleteWoody might have just got propositioned by Candy Kong for some... candy.
Maybe Klump is the same as the MOTUC serpent dudes and their serpent dude nipples!
POGS POGS POGS POGS
POGS POGS POGS POGS
POGS POGS POGS POGS
POGS POGS POGS POGS
YOU GET AN A!
DeleteTime for some Woody/Candy Kong slash fiction!
KLUMP FOR MOTUC! Makin' a thread right this instant.
Thank you for pumping this post up to 100% of it's possible awesome quotient.
Jeb for days
ReplyDeleteYou just guessed my next April Fools joke, damn you!
DeleteThe mavericks in X have slightly different and wackier-sounding names in the Japanese version (like, Chill Penguin is "Icy Penguigo"). I think the translators didn't know what to do with "Boomer Kuwanger" and just left it as-is. "Kuwanger" sounds close to a Japanese word for beetle, "Kuwaga..." so that's probably what was the deal.
ReplyDeleteI have pretty fond memories of the mid-to-late 90s Sonic comics. I do remember Nackles - I mean Nack - on some of the covers. I had this one issue where you can see Mega Man off in the corner on the cover, and somewhere else you could see Ristar - now I know it was just an easter egg, but at the time I thought this was foreshadowing for some awesome crossover in the future.
I did some wiki-ing and I was right in that B.K.'s name wasn't changed from the Japanese version. So they probably should have gone with "Boomerang Beetle" or some such. Apparently Gravity Beetle, from a later X game, is Kuwanger's brother. NOW U KNO
DeleteYeah, a friend of mine emailed me the meaning of Kuwanger after I made the post! It's a portmanteau of kuwataga and ranger, making him a Boomer Beetle Ranger.
DeleteMan, I got a STACK of the old Sonic comics. Loved those things. And you were right: It sort of WAS foreshadowing for an awesome crossover, if you're not aware of the recent Mega Man/Sonic crossover comics.