Tuesday, March 13, 2018

The Post in which Alexx Insists you Buy Dianauts

I really do insist. I've got the candy bowl filled with them; do take some. James! Where's the candy bowl? The guests are hungry!

HA! I'm just kidding, don't eat them. Ignore the fact that I'm telling you this whilst my mouth is full of Dianauts. I can't help it! They're so easy to pop in your mouth. Try it out!

Wait, no, don't try it out. Sorry. We're getting off track. Here, check this out:

This is a Dianaut.

This is a Dianaut getting a flying kick to the stomach from another Dianaut, but that's not important. I just think it's cool.

What is a Dianaut, you ask? Well spit them out and I'll tell you. Seriously, the eating thing was a joke, stop it.

A Dianaut is a teeny tiny man, about an inch tall. You should be well familiar with their origins, actually. Ever heard of a little toyline called Transformers? If you're not already a super fan, then you might not know that many Transformers came from various other toylines. Jetfire, for instance, is a Veritech Fighter from Macross, and then everything else is from Diaclone. Okay, so maybe not everything else, but a sizable chunk of Transformers were originally from the expansive series called Diaclone, which involved one inch figures that pilot various machines; from mechs, to spaceships, to transformable vehicles that look like normal, everyday vehicles - what we now know as Transformers! You ever wonder why some of your old Transformers have teeny tiny seats inside? Look no further than Diaclone!

What we're looking at now is an evolution of that same concept; what is known as the Diaclone Reboot. Rebooting Diaclone at it's core! The original Diaclone stuff was future tech - good old sci-fi mechs 'n such.

...and, i'll be honest. I haven't gotten far into the "meat" of it (large mutli-part mechs 'n stuff). It's expensive! Dianauts are a bit more manageable and easy to store. Plus: THEY WORK WITH EVERYTHING. As you'll see. But let's start simple, with a sample of what they're suppose to be piloting:

You could get a set of Dianauts, which is what I'm mostly suggesting, but you could also get a little mech like this.

They're quite articulated, come with a Dianaut, rifle, shoulder guns, and a drop container (that connects to the larger sets).

It's a nice way to start, since you at least get a Dianaut, but hey, if your aim is Dianauts, just get one of the various colored sets of eight (the box you see at the opening to this post).

And your aim should be Dianauts, lemme tell ya.

A single Dianaut contains ball jointed hips and shoulders, an ab crunch, jointed knees and elbows, and magnets in the feet. Strong magnets. You won't even really believe me fully until you have one in your hand. I mean, I saw pictures of these all over and the idea never really hit me until I was holding the tiny thing. They're amazing.

And they go with me on vacations now, crawling all over everything.

They're my little explorers, now. They add an interesting dollar-bin sci-fi novel vibe to just about anything you set them on.

Granted, taking them out into nature makes for a VERY high risk of losing them, but you're doing yourself a disservice if you ignore the possibilities. Every single place you set them brings new life to your surroundings. If you hesitate to take toy photos because of your lack of backgrounds or plain urban surroundings: Just get some Daianauts. Place them anywhere, zoom in, and take a shot. You'll be impressed with nearly everything you do.

Let's say you're a recluse, though. You don't wana go outside. Either that, or say you live in Michigan and nature hates your ass. What else can you do with Dianauts?

Eat them-------

-------wait, no! Why do you keep coming back to the eating thing?!

I meant place them in or on or around other toys! All toys! Every other toy is a freakin' giant compared to these little dudes.

Even Z-Bots!  EVEN Z-BOTS! They're small already, and they still terrorize Dianauts!

They also look amazing with any mech or robot you can drag out. In this case: a couple of wonderful 3D printed toys from Mechazone.

And this yellow and gray dude from Kosrobot.

Just pick a robot. Any robot. Any random robot you have lying around. They'll have a conversation with it. It's weird.

Next thing you're gona wana do is ask yourself: Does a Dianaut ride?

Aw yeah, baby.

A Dianaut does ride. It rides all over the place, in so many things. These little jerks had me looking at Hotwheels for the first time in years. Every car I saw was a potential ride.

Some worked, some didn't. Many of them had clear seats that looked like they would work, like this Halo jeep, but there was no place for them to put their legs.

And sometimes there was no room at all, but I couldn't help standing them by the car anyway.

They even had me ripping up old cars to see if I could shove them in, because some cars have these clear tops where I can CLEARLY SEE SEATS, so I gotta try, man!

But there are a surprising amount of old Hotwheels that can take Dianauts easily.

...but I definitely bought a bunch of junk just because I thought they would fit. There's a lot of interesting stuff out there now, like this crazy hover car.

Or this awesome off-road golf cart thing.

Or this Batmobile.

It eventually became clear that I didn't need another little hobby thrown in with my ridiculous collection, so I had to stop finding things that Dianauts could ride and go back to what I had around the house. Like...wasn't there already small toys, back in the day? Didn't the 90's go through a tiny-toy-craze?

Like freakin' MIGHTY MAX?

Yeah, that's right. Tiny toys used to be all the rage! Not sure how that fell out of favor, to be honest.

Playmates even made some awesome fold-out sets for Star Trek: The Next Generation.

That's the Enterprise, if you weren't sure. The figures that came with those sets were the same size as Dianauts, so it doesn't even look out of place.

Do you remember a toyline called Xpanders? Yeah, I didn't think so. Point is: They also fit in Xpanders.

Are you tired yet? Need a break? Go get yourself a sandwich; I've got alot of these.

Go on.

Okay, you back? Let's keep going.

I'm not sure I even have a theme anymore. These are just random pictures. Hopefully I've gotten across the usefulness of these dudes for nearly every toy imaginable.

Even this random Star Wars figure ended up being a good vessel for Dianauts! You'll be digging through your entire collection of toys to find things that work.

Or, you may come across a random nugget of gold. Behold: Our last stop!

This is a tiny HISS Tank, from G.I. Joe. It works the same as the normal sized HISS Tank, save for some bright LEDs in the cannons and some laser noises. It even has a spot in the turret for a toy, AND the cockpit opens to hold another toy!

What could you possibly fit in that tiny thing, though?


I am honestly suspicious that the creators of this little HISS did this on purpose. The Dianauts fit perfectly. Like a glove. Like a tailored glove. I didn't even have to adjust anything to get the guy in the turret to sit at just the right height.

The driver fits, the blast shield closes cleanly. You couldn't ask for a more perfect Dianaut vehicle beyond the actual toys meant to work with them.

I found the HISS Tank on Amazon, if you're interested. Pretty cheap.

Which, naturally, brings me to the price of the Dianauts: forty bucks for eight figures. Personally, I feel like it's worth it for the magnets, the joints, and the ridiculous process it must take to articulate something this small and still have it work out for the final product. I've never seen something so small be so articulated. On top of that: Eight figures is quite a bit! If you cut off one or two other toys you want, you can afford this in a flash, and you'll be set with a whole team of explorers in one shot. Trust me when I'll say it's worth it when you have these little guys in hand. They're unmatched.

And by god, they're just delicious. Have a spoonful. It'll do you good. Dig right in.


  1. Oh my gosh!

    I had no idea how small these were until that shot of Hordak holding one in his chest. These are insane.

    BTW, your pic with the Dianauts in the Good Humor truck is just art, plain and simple. That is an amazing image!

    1. Yeah, they're hard to grasp even from pictures of toys you recognize! They really only hit when you actually hold one - it's crazy. And thanks man, the Good Humor truck shot is one of my favorites. I'm surprised I even got them in there. Had to use tweezers!

  2. Really great article and photo spread. I have slowly been picking up bits of the new Diaclone stuff here and there. Looks like i will have to get a set of Dianauts now!

    1. Glad to have been of service! It's a dangerous hole to get in to, since it'll have you buying other things that they'll fit in, but it's also a dang fun hole to be in!